The Roger Goodell Interview

Roger Goodell with the job that no one really seems to know what is role is, so we sat down with the commissioner to get an idea of what he actually does.

Town Fool: Do you still consider yourself to be an egomaniac?

Goodell: For someone who makes 673,000 dollars a week to take in an NFL game he wants to, humility isn't important. My ego is the only things that keep me going.

Town Fool: Do you think you are a genius?

Goodell: Is a genius a guy that doesn't really have any tangible skills, but manages to make obscene amounts of money. In the NFL, they still haven't figured out what I am supposed to do. I guess that makes me a genius. 

Town Fool: Are you a narcissist?

Goodell: I'm not what you say I am. I have an ego because I have the fortune of not having to work. 

Town Fool: According to legend, the NFL comissioner used to be a positive face of the NFL

Goodell: According to legend, I am a positve face of the NFL. 

Town Fool: How did you become comissioner?

Goodell: I thought that I was good professional fit, because I know how to avoid work, and I was delighted when the NFL owners liked the image I protrayed. 

Town Fool: Do you feel you are a good comissioner?

Goodell: I could have been a good comissioner but the liberal media took me to task for not preventing head injuries. What about me? I have feelings too. I am just lucky I have a very supportive wife that helped me through the tough times. 

Town Fool: Do you feel you are "king of the castle"?

Goodell: I have a cannoical reason to feel that I am. I will just leave it at that.

Town Fool: Okay. How do you feel about all the poor officiating?

Goodell: I feel the officials do an excelent job. It isn't in every profession that someone in their late sixities is required to be physically fit and forced to keep up with young men that can run the 40 yard dash in 4.2 seconds. I think the officials are great. I think the officials make some great calls that may or may not cause gamblers to cringe, but the officials are the best. 

Town Fool: What about the lack of roughing the passer calls in week four?

Goodell: Each week is different. Statistically speaking the officials are correct 50.8 percent of the time. You don't see those kind of numbers in other professions.

Town Fool: Does that included obvious calls they miss.

Goodell: That is your opinon. 

Town Fool: Right. 

Goodell: I am right. 

Town Fool: What do you think your legacy will be on the game.

Goodell: I think it will be that NFL brand is making money.