Kohler, WI--Herbert Kohler is looking for a government handout to help subsidize the union wages he pays to workers in his engine plant. The move is to guarantee that all taxes are paid by the employees and not the owner.
"I'm just a poor fat man that is barely eeking out a living due to the demands of employees that ask for too many things when it comes to wages and healthcare. I just can't afford my ten mansions. It also makes it harder for me to steal county land because I can't grease the local politicians with gifts," Herbert Kohler told reporters gathered outside his belltower office.
Kohler is still struggling to make it in the world of business. His Ivy League education just didn't give him the skills to keep a global business going. The poor fat man just doesn't know what he can do without a government handout. He already took a government handout in other cities throughout the United States and can't understand why Sheboygan County won't give him more money.
"Taxes are killing me. I don't have the exact figure but taxes are preventing me from creating better-paying jobs," Herbert Kohler told reporters.
Sheboygan County wasn't aware that Kohler was suffering. They still don't understand how a man that stuck it to his union employees is struggling to make it, but they figure he is handicapped by his Ivy League education and lack of branches on his family tree.
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