Dear Reader:
This site would like to offer a sincere apology for not covering the royal wedding. Our editors would like to remind you that there are more important events occurring in our country and around the world that require our attention.
We do not want to downplay the importance of a Hollywood actress getting married for the second time to a man that will never be king. It is important that we take their vows with all seriousness. Yes, every rival media outlet wanted to make sure you had the opportunity to waste your day by watching a wedding ceremony.
The mainstream media didn't want to distract you with news about another school shooting. They wanted to take a Saturday off and pay tribute to an antiquated system of government that is about as relevant and important as a sloth scratching its belly on live tv.
We don't regret our choices, but we do wish you a fond day.
Thank you!
Editorial Staff of The Daily Town Fool
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